Sub Trapped in a Domme’s Body

It’s such a peculiar pattern in my life that so often I find myself pushed into a dominant position.  It seems to happen again and again with employers.  I guess it should come as no surprise; I’m smart, and employers seem to want to put smart people where they can best benefit from that intelligence resource.  I guess I can’t blame them.  All my life I’ve been explaining to bosses that I’m not a manager.  I’ve had the discussion with nearly every long-term employer I’ve ever worked for… I’m no manager, I can’t be in charge, but I’m the absolute best manager’s assistant/executive secretary/right-hand-woman that you’ll ever meet.  It doesn’t matter where you put me, whether it be a fast food restaurant or a presidential palace, I’m the smart submissive one who can excel at standing just behind and whispering in the ear of the one in charge.  And employers never believe me.  So many times employers have put me in management positions, and then pushed and resented me for not living up to their ideal of what a manager should be, when all along I told them who I am and what I’m about.

I am the submissive trapped in the body of a dominant.

So, I’ve been struggling for days with how to compose this blog entry.  My relationship with ‘T’ (aka Daddy) is taking some peculiar (and exciting) twists this week.  I guess in a way we’ve sort of swapped rolls.  ‘T’ is enjoying the sanctuary of spending time in the cage.  On Sunday afternoon I tied her down to our massage table and beat her senseless.  The more she screamed, the louder I turned up the music.  She screamed and sobbed alligator tears; she squirmed to get away, but I’m really good with rope work so there was no escape.  I beat her until she stopped screaming, stopped sobbing, and just lay still in complete submission, taking the beating in silence.  Then I put her in the cage for about 40 minutes.  For the rest of the night, ‘T’ was a complete zombie, lost in the nether regions of sub-space.  She liked it.  She wants to do it again.  I enjoyed myself too.  I probably will beat her ass again and again.

Monday and Tuesday nights I’ve been practicing my rope work on ‘T’, experimenting with beautiful rope work.  She loves that.  It’s fun, I love rope, I enjoy it too.

Fortunately I really enjoy learning new things about myself.  I’m learning a lot by topping ‘T’.  I’m finding out that, just as there’s a very predictable emotional/behavioral experience for me after I’ve been completely dominated by someone and put through cage training, there’s an equally powerful and predictable emotional experience that comes from topping ‘T’.  (I’ve never topped or dominated anyone in a scene before ‘T’.)  I’ve written quite a lot in this blog about how cage/submissive/service training affects my personality: super (uncontrollably) affectionate and very sexual, doting, loving, touchy-feely, creative (submission really makes me want to write), generally submissive.  After being trained to submission for a short time I just crave submission, I crave sitting at ‘T’s feet, serving her, looking to her for guidance in all things.  It’s where I’m happiest.  It’s the place where I feel most at home.  In a submissive space I’m as close to being who I was born to be than I’ve ever been anywhere else.  What can I say?  I have begging karma.

So what happens when I top?  Pretty much the exact opposite of being dominated.  After topping ‘T’ I find myself completely cut off from affection, sexuality, creativity.  I just can’t feel.  On Monday after beating ‘T’ the way I did Sunday evening, most of the day on Monday I found myself fighting the urge to cry at work.  I don’t want to cuddle.  I can’t think about sex.  I feel like an artichoke: hard, uninviting, thorny exterior hiding a yummy soft heart.  Now I’m not saying that this is entirely a bad experience.  It’s just an experience, and what I’m describing is what it feels like.  I’m not saying that I don’t want to top ‘T’ anymore, I do, I’m just putting it out there that being dominated does one thing to my personality, and dominating does the opposite.

All that said, I really like practicing my rope work on ‘T’ (or anyone really.)  I’m good at it; I enjoy it; and I want to get better.  I love making ‘T’ scream and cry.  It’s kind of pornographic to me; I have this thing for bound women crying in pain.  Strangely, beating ‘T’ is a kind of pornography that saps away my sexual energy rather than adding to it, but there’s still something enjoyable about it. 

At the same time, it really does feel like I’m a submissive trapped in a dominant’s body, sort of like transsexuals talk about being a woman trapped in a man’s body.  I understand how the trans experience could be unsettling and unpleasant.  I find myself, yet again, pushed into the dominant role.  So, okay, there it is.  I enjoy binding and hurting ‘T’.  There may be a bit of living vicariously.  It’s become clear that ‘T’ is not all that dominant, and she really struggles to bring herself to get into hurting and topping me.  Maybe she doesn’t like it for some of the same reasons that I’m writing about here.  I don’t know.  Maybe she really is more of a submissive.  (So what do you get when 2 submissives are in an exclusive relationship?  Umm, doesn’t sound promising.)  So, she won’t consistently top me, if I want to live the lifestyle I guess I need to top her.  She seems to like it, I get to live my life through her experience I guess.

Yeah, I like hurting her.  I’d describe the enjoyment to be along similar lines of, say, enjoying going out with friends to get really drunk when I was a kid.  We liked it.  We did it all the time.  And we woke up with terrible hangovers.  That’s kind of what the experience of being in the dominant role is like for me so far.  But, I like it well enough to want to continue exploring ‘T’s pain limits, to see how far I can push her.  I want to.  I sincerely doubt that I will easily be able to go back and forth between dominating ‘T’ and then letting her dominate me.  Being dominant is so far outside of who I really am, it feels to me as though going back and forth too much will really fuck with my head and make me crazy.  I guess I’m ready to settle into a dominant role for a while and allow ‘T’ to experience herself in the submissive role.  She just needs to know that I’m may frequently be disconnected from my sexuality and affection.  Look at it this way, being a submissive puppy-girl trains me to be super affectionate and sexual, and being a dominant trains me to be cut off from my sexuality and affection.  It’s a trade off, but it may have its rewards.  We’ll just have to give it time and see what those rewards might be.

In the meantime, I’ll have to be very diligent to not put energy into attracting my submissive fix somewhere else.  It’s been a lifelong pattern to kind of have my antenna tuned to where I might find someone willing to train me to submission.  I haven’t cheated in past relationships in my life, but I’ve always sort of had a roving eye… it’s the craving to experience myself as I truly am, in full submission.  I’m just built that way.  The craving (and roaming eye) only really goes away when I’m feeling committed in submission to a loving Domme.  I’ve only had the experience of being really submissive, where I knew what was expected of me, in one other relationship besides the few short periods when ‘T’ has gotten into being dominant.  I want you to know, ‘T’ that I love you and that I have no intention of fucking up this marriage.  I’m just trying to be honest about what to expect here (because I love you so much.)

Okay, this is long enough; these feelings have been backing up in me for a while.  I hope this VERY long entry is comprehensive and comprehensible.  I look forward to making ‘T’ scream and cry a whole lot more.

XO
Vicious Princess

Bonding

Daddy and I had a wonderful weekend. I’m so thrilled to be witness to my Master coming into her power and strength. It’s hot and it’s encouraging and it’s so sweet.

Friday afternoon I came home from work and Daddy had set my cage up complete with a mylar balloon tied to it that said “Princess” on it. After the events of early last week, with me freaking out and taking a step back to gain perspective about my submission, it was very sweet that Daddy missed seeing me in my cage and wanted me back in it. I missed it too. I’d also stopped wearing my collar for a few days last week. So Friday night Master told me that she wanted the collar back on me, and she did something that she hasn’t done before… she told me that she wanted to put it on me. Usually I just put my collar on myself, but it was sweet and felt empowering to be completely submissive to my Daddy as I knelt before her so that she could place the collar and bell around my neck. I didn’t think it was possible, but my heart expanded and my love for Master grew ten-fold in that moment.

Daddy is also figuring out that she really does have complete control over what I’m doing when she wants it; she’s discovered that if she grabs me by my collar, she can effectively paralyze and immobilize me with almost no effort. I get a little rambunctious at times, and I can play pretty rough. Twice in the past few days Master has grabbed my collar from behind and basically held me to the floor, completely unable to move, just long enough to calm me down and make me stop what I was doing. (I think the first time she grabbed my collar she might have been a little surprised that I let her get away with it… seriously though, I was surprised that she did it, and I was instantly hot for her as I saw the light of recognition come on in her eyes the moment that she actually FELT how much power she has over me.)

Also, my Master gave me instructions before she went to bed on Friday. Without any prompting on my part, Daddy told me that it was okay to stay up as late as I wanted and that I was to lock myself in my cage when I was ready to lay down. It makes me wet and gives me butterflies in my stomach to think about Daddy getting stronger and feeling more sure of herself as a pet owner. I feel overwhelmed with desire as little by little, in a million small ways, Master assumes her position and place of power as my owner and trainer. The more that Daddy takes subtle control over me, the more I find myself wanting to submit to her. The more I submit to her, the more bonded to her I become.

I love my Master with the same zeal and intensity that any puppy feels for her loving master. I’m so grateful to my Daddy for giving me this opportunity to live and grow into the truest expression of my nature. Daddy has tapped into something in me that has always been there, but that I’ve never really been able to live and express. I don’t entirely understand the feelings inside of me, but I do know that I love and trust my Daddy with every ounce of my being. I love being under her control. I love being at her feet. I love taking care of her. I love being her pet-girl for life.

I love you, Daddy.

XO,
Princess

Greenlight

Thank you, Daddy for working with me to resolve my little emotional meltdown.  It’s the weirdest thing in the world to me to use my safeword; there’s a certain amount of shame that goes with it.  It’s a standard I attempt to impose on myself, that I’ll never use a safeword, that I’ll take whatever my Master does or wants to do to me and never complain or whine.  It’s shocking to me when something happens that feels so overwhelming that I just can’t seem to stop myself from shouting out my safeword.

Anyway, like I said, this is only the second time I’ve ever used a safeword.  I guess that’s a pretty good record.  (The other time, Daddy may remember, was the first time I talked her into striking me, before she became more comfortable with being my Master; she started with a flogger and I kept saying, “Is that all you got?  Hit me!”  Then she started in with the riding crop, and I kept saying, “Hit me!  Are you some sort of wimp?  Hit me!”  Next thing I knew I was shouting, “Yellowlight! Yellowlight!” and I ended up with the most beautiful grapefruit-sized black bruises on my ass that took 10 days to fade.  My Daddy ain’t no wimp!)

Please forgive me, Daddy, for calling yellowlight this time.  I’m sorry for my misunderstanding.  But I learned something valuable about myself this week.  I mean, I kind of knew it already, but my understanding has become deeper.  I’m seeing more clearly how my biggest hurdles when it comes to being a submissive and a pet are with scary emotional stuff.  Sleeping in a cage every night doesn’t bother me, in fact I love it.  Being tied to a table for 4 or 5 hours is challenging, but I can handle it.  Being flogged, spanked and paddled is a rush and cathartic, and I can handle that any day of the week.  When it comes to emotional stuff though, I tend to be more frail and fragile.  Will you please help me to work on this, Daddy?  Will you help me to push my limits somehow?  I don’t know just how that might work, but if we set our intention to figure it out, then I feel certain that the best course of action will come to us.

I want to trust you in all areas, Daddy.  I don’t want to have these experiences of fragility that upset you and upset me and upset everything that we’re becoming.  I want to be your sweet pet-girl and to trust you in all matters.  Please help me to be better.  I want your guidance and your leadership.  I do trust you.  I know that you and I want the same things: to see us both grow as Domme and submissive, to grow as wife and wife, to grow as the supportive, loving couple we intend to be, and to grow as individuals.  I’m positive that for my part, what’s going to help me to grow and evolve and be the best wife and lover ever is for me to commit to following the path of submission to you, my Master.  Thank you, Daddy for helping me along this path and for not giving up on me.

I’m done with my little tantrum and tirade.  Greenlight, Daddy.  If you’ll have me, I remain your sweet submissive puppy-girl to lead and train as you see fit.  Please allow me to follow your lead down this path of love and life.

XO,
Princess

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Yellow Light

Well, Daddy and I have been in our new house for 9 days, and I’ve been sleeping in my cage every night for about a week.  And it’s been really good and really hot.  Sleeping in the cage gets more and more comfortable every night; it’s my safe little den, and I’ve gotten use to sleeping all curled up, too confined to stretch out.  Laying there in the dark of my covered cage listening to Daddy breathing in the bed next to my cage is just a never ending source of erotic desire bubbling up from somewhere deep inside of me, some primal space that I don’t understand at all.

But, something odd happened between Daddy and me this morning that has left me feeling emotionally fragile and dangerously vulnerable.  I need to do something I only remember doing once before in my kinky life; I need to use my safeword.

Yellow light.  I need a puppy break.  I need some time to regroup and reestablish my equilibrium.

I think what happened this morning is a good thing.  I have a feeling that it will open Daddy and me up to channels of communication that have been closed to us up to this point.  And as most submissives would agree (I think), if I’m going to put my very life in the hands of another, the importance of clear, honest communication can’t be over emphasized.  Certain kinds of emotional fragility and emotional vulnerability simply have to be off the table before I can be comfortable allowing the padlocks to snap shut, putting the keys to my life into the hands of another human being.

I love my Daddy.  We’ll work this out.  But for the moment I need to step back from puppy training.

All is well.

XO,
Princess

Pet Training

I had 2 experiences this morning that took my sexual desire to a new height.  Last night before I went to bed, I figured out how to set the timer on the central heat thermostat.  Daddy gets up very early in the morning to be at work by 4.  She gets up a little earlier than necessary, and I get up with her, so that we can play a little before she leaves for work.  She typically gets up, goes to the bathroom, lets me out of my cage, then crawls back into bed.  This morning when she realized that the heat had come on before she got up, I noticed that she moved at a more leisurely pace when she went to the bathroom.  I sat up in the dark of my covered cage and waited for Master to give her attention to me.  As I waited there in the dark, as each second ticked by and my bladder nudged for relief, I felt more and more the affect of Daddy’s control washing over me.  By the time she opened the door to my cage and released me, I was already wildly turned on by the sensation of being completely her surrendered pet to use and train as she sees fit.

After I peed I crawled up on the bed.  I was wild with the passion of my submission to Master’s pleasure.  I kissed her all over her head and chest.  I stroked her hair and rubbed my whole body against hers.  Master casually reached around and grabbed my collar at the back of my neck.  She gently pulled me back so I couldn’t quite reach to kiss her.  With her other hand she pinned my arm to the bed, and she used her knees against my legs so I couldn’t rub my body on hers.  I strained to break free for a moment, but when I realized that Master had complete control over me I stopped struggling and relaxed into Master’s control.  She suddenly let go of me and I went wild.  By the time Daddy got up for work, she had to fight me off of her and pin me to the bed so that she could get up.

If the point of Daddy’s pet training is to get me into a state of constant arousal all day everyday, well then she’s succeeding wonderfully.

It feels so strange, as a chronic night owl that hardly sleeps at all, that sleeping in my cage every night this week has me feeling eager to get to bed at an early enough hour that I get to spend plenty of time in my cage before Daddy lets me out.  I’ve been in my cage by 10:30 every night (an unheard of early hour for me to be in bed.)  And here it is Friday night, a night I typically get in bed about 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning, here it is 10:30 and I’m rushing to get this blog entry posted so that I can run up stairs and get ready for bed.  As it turns out, an unexpected consequence of Master training me to sleep in my cage is that I’m getting a lot more rest than I usually do.

Just one more way that being Daddy’s puppy-girl keeps me healthy, happy and ever Daddy’s loving pet.

XO,
Princess

Why Is It?

This is the strangest thing ever to me.  Why is it that on the nights that I sleep in my Master’s bed with her I wake up tired and groggy?  Why is it that when I sleep in the bed I wake up but want to go right back to sleep?  Why do lay there sort of detached and in my own little world?  Why do I go right back to sleep after Master leaves for work and then have a hard time getting up for work myself?  Why do I just want to lie there quietly and hold Daddy until she gets up to get ready for work?

Furthermore, why is it that on the nights I sleep in my cage I wake up refreshed and well rested?  Why do I wake up sweet and wiggly?  Why is it that I can’t stop stroking, kissing, nibbling and licking my Master on the mornings that I wake up in my cage?  Why is it that Daddy has to fight me off from pawing and kissing on her as she gets up for work?  Why is it that on the mornings that I wake up in my cage I feel alert and energized after Daddy leaves for work and I have no trouble getting up for work myself?  How can it be that this response to sleeping in my cage feels completely involuntary, like I couldn’t stop myself from being the affection-hound even if I wanted to?

Of course my Master says, “Who cares why?  I’m just glad that it works that way.”  This morning Daddy told me how happy she is that I’m sleeping in my cage again.  She says that she “needed” for me to be back in my cage, that she “needed” for me to be the loving, affectionate puppy-girl of her desires again.  I love that!  That really excites me.  It seems that the little break in our puppy training routine while we were moving was hard on us both.  I love that too!  Master said this morning, “You’d better get used to being in your cage; I really like you this way.”  That makes me very hot!

Daddy says that she hopes that the effect of cage training doesn’t wear off over time, that I don’t get desensitized to it.  What can say except to experiment with it and see what happens.  I  have to confess that I was feeling so detached and moody from weeks of no puppy training by the time that my Master put me back in my cage 2 nights ago that I felt real concern that cage training wasn’t going to work anymore.  I felt kind of indifferent to being in my cage when Daddy told me that she would be putting me in for the night, I kind of felt like, “I’m over it.  I’m bored with the cage.”  But I did what I was told to do and got in my cage at bedtime, and guess what… when I woke up yesterday morning (and again this morning) I was the happy, affectionate, sweet sexual puppy all over again.  And I was surprised and amazed at the involuntary power of my response to cage training.  And amazed at how well rested I felt when I woke up.  So all I can say about whether cage training will always work is, “Daddy, trust your intuition and let the results of your training methods speak for themselves.”

Our new house has this nice, small room in the basement.  This room has 2 small windows up high, wood paneling, and brand new, well padded, plush carpeting.  It’s about the size of a jail cell.  It occurred to me yesterday that this room could make a very nice confinement space for my Master’s puppy-girl.  I mentioned to Daddy that we could put a locking doorknob with the lock on the outside, put a pee pad in a corner, a bowl of water and a dish of food and she could leave her puppy safely while she’s busy with other stuff.  Add some locking puppy mitts and maybe some light bondage occasionally for different affects.  We could even work out a method for completely blacking out the small windows when we want to (maybe with a fan outside the door to create white noise) to see what affect sensory deprivation has on Master’s puppy-girl.  The point, of course, is to keep me the sweet, loving, sexually wound up pet-girl for my Daddy.

I think my Master likes some of my ideas for the basement bedroom.

I love that my Master is really beginning to understand how training creates desired behavior in her pet-girl.  Just as with any pet, the more consistent the training is, the more consistent the results will be.  In other words, keeping me in a cage overnight results in a very, very affectionate, sexually wild puppy-girl in the morning.  The more mornings that I wake up like that, the more affectionate, sexual and submissive I’ll be all the time (not just in the morning.)  Different types of training might yield different kinds of affects.  It’s okay to experiment.  I really want my Master to know that I’m her willing pet.  Anything that she’d like to try, anything she reads about, hears about, imagines in her mind, I hope she’ll feel completely free to try; she can’t know how I might respond to something unless she experiments with it.  I’m her pet; I’ll follow her lead.  If she needs me to do prep, like installing doorknobs, tying myself down, or otherwise preparing a space, she just needs to let me know what she wants me to do and I’ll do it.  I trust my Daddy with my life!

XO,
Princess

Recovering

My Master (Daddy) and I are all moved out of our old house and moved into our new house.  Saturday was the day from hell!  We hired movers to take care of the heavy stuff on Saturday morning to save us the effort; the cable installation guy showed up at the same time as the movers and Daddy was at work.  So there I was, a crazed puppy, running around trying to coordinate everyone.  NIGHTMARE!  But Daddy is doing a masterful job of getting us unpacked and settled, and we’re beginning to recover a little of our sanity.

The new house is lovely.  It’s a little colder than the old house, so we’re trying to figure out how to keep the house comfortable, but it’s only been 4 days; we’ll get it right.

For me, the most challenging part of this move has been the lapse in my training.  Master and I have both been working so hard to pack and move the small stuff in our cars that there hasn’t been time or energy for formal training.  Then my dog bed got moved, and the old house was being shown to perspective tenants during our final weeks there, so we had to break down my cage and store it under the bed.  And after the move, I was so sore and achy that my Master didn’t want to put me in my cage for fear that I might cramp up and be injured.  So last night was the first time in what seems like weeks that I got to sleep in my cage.  I missed my safe cozy space.

And I learned a few things during the lapse in training about who I am and who I’m becoming and who I hope to become as a result of my Master’s training.  As the days passed with no training I felt myself slowly slipping into old modes of behavior.  I felt myself getting testy, moody and cranky.  I saw myself being disrespectful with my Daddy, and she let me get away with it, partly because we were both so exhausted that she didn’t want to push me, and partly because (I think) she looks up to me and my smarts just as much as I look up to her and her smarts, so when I’m focused and cranky and getting things done during such a stressful event as moving, I’m sure she doesn’t want to hamper that focus.

But I hated feeling that way.  The more willful and cranky I get, the less affectionate and sexual I feel.  It’s like I feel myself turning into a cantankerous old bitch that no one (not even me) wants to be around.  And nothing I’ve ever experienced in this world gets me out of that headspace like being taken in hand and trained to be submissive and respectful.  And no one has ever been able to train me like my Master can.  And I’ve never in my life wanted to submit to anyone with the complete surrender with which I want to submit to my Daddy. 

Through living life and being a freak in a world that shuns difference, I’ve learned to be sarcastic and cranky and irreverent.  These are personality traits that run very deep in me.  These characteristics bring me no pleasure.  They really just amount to a defense system to keep people from getting too close to me; if people get too close they might find out what a freak I am which is exactly what I’ve spent my entire life trying to avoid.  Sarcasm and biting wit are the thorns in me that keep most people on the outside of my emotional personal space

I don’t want to have that kind of relationship with my Master.  I want her close to me.  I want to submit to her.  I want to be trained to behave respectfully with her.  What I’m learning about myself is that I’m happiest when our training is consistent and loving.  I’m happiest in those times that Daddy actually gets me to experience my submission to her.  I’m happiest when I’m actually experiencing my submission through cage training or other forms of puppy training, through humiliation or pain.  When my Master puts me in my cage and I don’t resist, or when she puts my food on the floor and I simply get on my hands and knees to eat without question, or in those times when she’s made me follow her around a super market wearing handcuffs hidden under a sweater or when she’s out-of-the-blue had me come to her and lay face down on the floor at her feet and then up on my knees to beg for a treat, or in those moments that she bites my nipple until I scream or paddles my ass until my face is wet with tears, in those moments of total submission when I make no move to resist Master’s domination of me, those are the times that I feel most sexual, most affectionate, most open to love and being loved, and that’s who I most want to be!

I know that my Daddy loves me more than she’s ever loved anyone in her life.  And I know that her love for me is the reason that she often hesitates to hurt or humiliate me.  I hope that someday through my consistent, non-resistant submission she will learn that, at least for this little puppy-girl, I experience her dishing out of pain and humiliation as acts of purest love.  In the same way, I hope that over time, through my Master’s consistent pet training, my brain will slowly be re-wired so that I’m openly loving, affectionate and sexual with my Daddy at all times.

I love you, Daddy!

XO,
Princess

One for Lexi

Okay, Lexi at Behind the Collar put out an open request to regular readers of her blog to answer some questions.  I do read her blog pretty regularly; how can I refuse her?

1. Can you cook?
 I’m a pretty good cook, but Daddy is a professional chef so she does 99.999% of the cooking.  I’m a really good kitchen cleaner-upper.

2. What was your dream growing up?
 I wanted to be a writer.

3. What talent do you wish you had?
 I wish I had a real tail that I could wag for my Daddy.

4. Favorite place?
 At my Daddy’s feet.

5. Favorite vegetable?
 Brussel sprouts (it’s true!)

6. What was the last book you read?
 “The Intention Experiment” by Lynne McTaggart

7. What zodiac sign are you?
 Aquarius

8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
 One small tattoo on my ankle and 4 piercings in each ear.

9. Worst Habit?
 I get cranky and disobedient with my Daddy when my training isn’t consistent.

10. Do we know each other outside of blogging?
 Nope.

11. What is your favorite sport?
 Fetch.

12. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
 Completely optimistic and joyful.

13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
 I’d most likely curl up in a corner and meditate.

14. Worst thing to ever happen to you? 
 That I forgot for a long time why I’d decided to be born into this world in the first place.

15. Tell me one weird fact about you:
 Does “I love to sleep locked in a little cage” count?  How about “I only get turned on when I’m treated roughly or humiliated/dehumanized”?

16. Do you have any pets?
 I am the pet.

17. Do you know how to do the macarena?
 No, thank you please.

18. What time is it where you are now?
 10:00 am

19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
 Scary.

20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
 I would trade in my coarse, curly hair for soft, straighter hair.

21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
 Uh, I’d be the hell-raiser.

22. What color eyes do you have?
 Gray-blue.

23. Ever been arrested?
 Umm… yes.

24. Favorite fictional character of all time?
 The person I’ve pretended to be my whole life so that people wouldn’t know that I’m a freaky puppy-girl (that fictional character has served me well.)

25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
 Hand it over to my Daddy.

26. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
 I’d be all over shape-shifting.

27. What’s your favorite hangout?
 At my Daddy’s feet.

28. Do you believe in ghosts?
 It’s complicated.

29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
 Following my Daddy’s orders.

30. Do you swear a lot?
 No, not very much.

31. Biggest pet peeve?
 Discourteous drivers on the road.

32. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
 Obedient.

33. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
 It’s pretty long for a comment; I’ll most likely post my responses as a blog entry.

Cranky Puppy

I’ve never been happier than I am living the life of Daddy’s puppy-girl.  My Daddy is gentle and permissive, but there’s rarely a doubt that she’s in charge. 

Last night as Daddy was winding down and getting herself ready for bed, she surprised me with the most delightful treat.  I came walking up the stairs to find Daddy holding a bone-shaped Valentine’s Day cookie.  She held it up high and had me get down on my knees in front of her.  She kept me there for a few minutes in a begging posture getting me to bark for her as she fed me the treat one bite at a time.

To tell the truth, I was in a very strange, somewhat distant frame of mind as I walked up the stairs just before Daddy offered me that treat.  Daddy and I had been talking about ex-lovers off and on for a couple of hours last night, and that always leaves me feeling insecure and kind of detached from Daddy.  I was wondering if maybe Daddy was upset too.  Daddy was tired and going to bed early and I figured I would be left alone with my upset mood to deal with it on my own.  Then Daddy got me down on my knees and made me bark and beg for a treat.  In the gap between 2 heartbeats my insecure mood instantly evaporated and there was nothing in my Universe except my Daddy, the treat in her hand, and the purest burning love of this puppy for her loving owner.

Just like that my bad mood was disolved.  Everything was once again right with the world.  I felt safe and secure under my owners loving protection.  Daddy went to bed and drifted off into exhausted peaceful sleep, and a little while later I came to bed, crawled in beside her and licked her face until she woke up and wrapped her arms and legs all around me.

Thank you, Daddy, for not leaving me to wallow in my moodiness last night.  Thank you for knowing just what to do to leave me feeling loved, secure and owned before you went to bed.  Thank you for the yummy treat!  But most of all, thank you for letting me be your beloved, pampered puppy and for not letting me forget it.

XO,
Princess