Greenlight

Thank you, Daddy for working with me to resolve my little emotional meltdown.  It’s the weirdest thing in the world to me to use my safeword; there’s a certain amount of shame that goes with it.  It’s a standard I attempt to impose on myself, that I’ll never use a safeword, that I’ll take whatever my Master does or wants to do to me and never complain or whine.  It’s shocking to me when something happens that feels so overwhelming that I just can’t seem to stop myself from shouting out my safeword.

Anyway, like I said, this is only the second time I’ve ever used a safeword.  I guess that’s a pretty good record.  (The other time, Daddy may remember, was the first time I talked her into striking me, before she became more comfortable with being my Master; she started with a flogger and I kept saying, “Is that all you got?  Hit me!”  Then she started in with the riding crop, and I kept saying, “Hit me!  Are you some sort of wimp?  Hit me!”  Next thing I knew I was shouting, “Yellowlight! Yellowlight!” and I ended up with the most beautiful grapefruit-sized black bruises on my ass that took 10 days to fade.  My Daddy ain’t no wimp!)

Please forgive me, Daddy, for calling yellowlight this time.  I’m sorry for my misunderstanding.  But I learned something valuable about myself this week.  I mean, I kind of knew it already, but my understanding has become deeper.  I’m seeing more clearly how my biggest hurdles when it comes to being a submissive and a pet are with scary emotional stuff.  Sleeping in a cage every night doesn’t bother me, in fact I love it.  Being tied to a table for 4 or 5 hours is challenging, but I can handle it.  Being flogged, spanked and paddled is a rush and cathartic, and I can handle that any day of the week.  When it comes to emotional stuff though, I tend to be more frail and fragile.  Will you please help me to work on this, Daddy?  Will you help me to push my limits somehow?  I don’t know just how that might work, but if we set our intention to figure it out, then I feel certain that the best course of action will come to us.

I want to trust you in all areas, Daddy.  I don’t want to have these experiences of fragility that upset you and upset me and upset everything that we’re becoming.  I want to be your sweet pet-girl and to trust you in all matters.  Please help me to be better.  I want your guidance and your leadership.  I do trust you.  I know that you and I want the same things: to see us both grow as Domme and submissive, to grow as wife and wife, to grow as the supportive, loving couple we intend to be, and to grow as individuals.  I’m positive that for my part, what’s going to help me to grow and evolve and be the best wife and lover ever is for me to commit to following the path of submission to you, my Master.  Thank you, Daddy for helping me along this path and for not giving up on me.

I’m done with my little tantrum and tirade.  Greenlight, Daddy.  If you’ll have me, I remain your sweet submissive puppy-girl to lead and train as you see fit.  Please allow me to follow your lead down this path of love and life.

XO,
Princess

3 Responses to “Greenlight”

  1. OK, you can have your cage back, but not tonight. I’ll decide when that will be and you will know. I love you.

    XO
    Daddy

  2. Princess,
    Hi. Since that comment you left on my blog, I’ve been reading yours regularly. I like to, because I feel like we have similar barriers to overcome. So I just wanted to say thank you for your blog, and I am glad you are feeling better.
    -Shii

  3. Hi Shii,

    I’m very grateful for you and your blog. Sometimes I find that reading your blog helps me to be a little clearer about how I interact with my Master and I what I want. I identify with a lot of what you write.

    It’s so nice to not feel alone in this crazy, wild, spectacular, lovely lifestyle. Thank you.

    XO,
    P

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