Hi Daddy,

I need to comment on something you said to me yesterday.  I understand that you aren’t all that familiar with the world of kinky power exchange and D/s, and I appreciate that you’ve more or less discovered that you aren’t all that dominant.  And I empathize with your awareness that you just aren’t comfortable inflicting pain on your most loved one for fun.  I won’t even say that these forms of play are an acquired taste; I suspect that it’s more likely something that some of us are born into. 

This is my karma.  I have begging karma.  I was born to submit.  I was born to do as I’m told and like it.  I was born to be quiet and reserved and kind of isolated unto myself except when the passion and fire are awakened in me through submission and objectification. 

I love you Daddy, and I will never part from you.  I’ve told you that even if we never indulge in BDSM or power exchange play ever again, I will stay at your side and be content.  Most of the relationships in my history have been non-D/s relationships.  And I’ve gotten along just fine.  I’ve done what’s expected of me; I’ve been mostly obedient and looked to my partners for leadership and guidance.  And I’ve found my comfort zone within the realm of vanilla relationships most of my life.  Like I said, I’ve just been mostly quiet, reserved and kind of isolated in my own little world in these relationships.  But I’ve been comfortable.

I guess the trouble you and I are in now is that you’ve experienced me passionate side.  You know about the fire that lives inside of me waiting to be set loose via my submission.  And now that you’ve experienced the passion inside me, you can’t be satisfied with my quiet, reserved side.  So here’s our dilemma.  You can’t be happy with my quiet side.  And the only way I’ve ever known to access and release my passion is through submission in a power exchange relationship.  You’re not particularly dominant or sadistic.  So you don’t know what to do to access my passion.  And you’re frustrated.

Does that sum up or situation pretty well, Daddy?

I want to please you, Daddy.  I want you to be happy and fulfilled in this relationship.  I want you to be, do and have everything you can dream of.  I’m going to try to suggest here some ideas of how you might be able to access the passion locked away in my heart in a way that feels fun and right to you without being overboard or outside your comfort zone.

Let’s talk balance and comfort.  I think there’s a point of balance between opposing desires that you have.  What I mean is that you say there’s never enough time to fit in D/s play with our busy schedules.  Achieving balance is easier than you think; you might just have to prioritize.  In other words, you really want to set time aside to talk and connect and sit down to dinner together so we can share about our days, woman to woman.  And I love connecting with you like that.  You also want to see me more submissive at times because you know how turned on and attentive I get.  You know, I’m a puppy.  What if some of my meals were served in a bowl on the floor in the kitchen or next to the dining table?  No additional time is required, but a level of balance is being approached, balance between sitting and connecting at some meals and getting me into that wild puppy head-space at some meals.  Maybe that would make you uncomfortable, maybe it wouldn’t.

Here’s another one.  What if when you’re sitting on the sofa watching TV you told me to come and sit at your feet?  You could sit there and stroke my head, get me into that puppy head-space.  You could pull my hair if that’s fun or funny.  You could take me by the hair and move me off the floor onto the sofa beside you.  You could take me by the hair and move me off the sofa onto the floor so you can stretch out.  See, most people who have canines (non-human puppies) don’t necessarily tie their dog down, or beat it for fun.  But you know, they train it to do things they want the dog to do, and train it to not do things they don’t want the dog to do.  And they love their dog, cuddle it, feed it, play with it, treat it like a prized companion, like a pet they really, really love.  I get that you’ve never had a dog.  But hey, if you’re trying to tap into that passion inside me, maybe occasionally treating me like a dog would be comfortable enough to you, you can do it when you’re doing things you already do, no extra time is required.  It doesn’t have to be our everyday experience, but maybe experiment with it to find the point of balance where you’re happily connected with your spouse, plus you’ve tapped into her hidden passion.

If you really want to see me attentive to your every move in puppy mode, try talking to me and giving me commands in Spanish!  I won’t know what the heck you’re talking about and I’ll be forced to try to understand you like any untrained dog trying to understand the utterances of a human owner.

If you really want to tap into that passion that exists in me, perhaps you could explore that point of balance inside of you between “not-dominant” and “I want what I want”.  Here’s the thing, I want to please you.  I want to be doing things that are very pleasing to you.  If you don’t tell me what you want, there’s nothing I can do.  Is it possible sometimes to just come out and say what you want?  Last night for example, you asked me, “Are you going to sleep in your cage tonight?”  I said nothing.  I stared into space and the subject was dropped.  I have no idea what you wanted.  Did you want me to sleep in the cage?  If you’d said, “You’re sleeping in your cage tonight.”  I would have.  If you say, “I want you in the bed next to me” that’s where I’ll be.  Getting me into a submissive head-space is as simple as telling me what to do.  I’m already 98% there most of the time anyway; it takes nothing to push me that extra 2% into submissive head-space.  Challenge yourself occasionally; tell yourself, “Okay, for 1 hour I’m going to command Princess, for just the next hour I’m going to see what happens if I boss her around and treat her like a dog, or treat her like a slave, or treat her like a foot rest, or treat her like a sex toy, or put her in a corner.”  Try it for an hour, see how it feels.  Was it fun?  Did you get a desired result from your pet?  How long did the result last?  Where’s the point of balance between having my equal spouse and having my passionate submissive? 

This is not an all or nothing proposition.  Somewhere in there is a point of balance between living the 24/7 power exchange relationship where you’re the Master and I’m the slave and that’s just the way it is at all times, and living the pure vanilla life.  If pure vanilla is to plain and living the lifestyle is to spicy, then let’s find that point of balance.  If you’re longing for the passion you’ve witnessed in me during power exchange play, then we aren’t in balance; we’re too far to the vanilla.  If you’re getting plenty of passion but you feel like your missing suburban equal woman to woman connection, then we’re out of balance too far to living the lifestyle.  It sounds simple on paper.

I’m submissive.  I’m a puppy.  I was born this way.  I’m happiest this way.  I’m going to follow your lead.  If it’s all vanilla, I’m following you into all vanilla.  If it’s living the lifestyle sleeping in a cage every night, I’m following you into the lifestyle.  Wherever that place of balance is in between, that’s where I’m following you.  Be creative.  Experiment.  Set time limits on things you’d like to try.  Give yourself 30 minutes every other day, or twice a week, to just be bossy and commanding and state point blank what you want from me.  Tell yourself, “I’m going to keep her in the cage for one hour.” or “I’m going to put her outside naked for 20 minutes.”  Set a timer, and when it’s done we can go on with our evening as normal.  It’s just like setting the timer in the morning for cuddle time; we do it to get the connection time because we like the result it has on our marriage.  Try the same thing with putting me in a submissive head-space.  Maybe not every day, but a few minutes a couple times a week might get you the result you want.  Have me lay naked (or mostly naked) puppy style on a blanket on the kitchen floor while you make dinner once or twice a week; speak Spanish at me while I lay there looking at you trying to figure out what you’re up to.  If you put me in the cage or outside naked, you don’t have to tell me how long I’m out there, or what you’re up to; let me wonder.  See if that gets the result you want out of me. 

Think of things to try yourself.  Be creative; surprise me.  Just simple little exercises.  They don’t have to last long.  They don’t have to be done any more frequently than it takes to get the result you want out of me.  Need to run to the store for garlic?  Throw me in the trunk of the car and leave me in there until you get back home.  When we get back home we can go about our evening like normal; maybe that’ll get you the result you’re after, maybe it won’t.  Put the handcuffs on me and have me follow you around the grocery store with a sweater over my hands; leave the cuffs on and let me sit on the kitchen floor until dinner is ready, then take them off and we can go about the rest of our evening as usual.  Maybe that’ll get you the result your want, maybe it won’t.  Have me sleep in the cage one night per week or one night every 10 days; sure you’ll miss me in the bed next to you, but maybe it’ll get you the result you want out of me, or maybe it won’t.  Or if you miss me in the night, you can move me into the bed when you get up to pee.

You said that you don’t know what to do.  These are just some suggestions that might be easy.  Most of them don’t require setting a bunch of time aside, not like fancy bondage and flogging does.  It doesn’t require leaving me tied up for 3 hours.  You’re making dinner anyway, right?  It’s no extra time to have me lying on the kitchen floor like a dog while you cook.  Then we’re done.  Or to set my food on the floor once a week, or whatever.  We deliberate cuddle every morning because we like the resultant connection.  So what if we did deliberate short exercises frequently enough to tap into my dormant submissive nature?

It might work.

Sorry this is so long, Daddy.  I got carried away.

I love you.


One Response to “Balance”

  1. These all sound like good ideas and I am willing to try some out. Thanks for being such a loyal and lovable pet.



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