Puppy Training

Saturday was so much fun!  Thank you, Daddy, for giving me the opportunity to connect with my inner puppy.

We woke up early Saturday morning.  Daddy let me empty my bladder and brush my teeth.  By the time I made it back to the bedroom, Daddy already had things laid out.  I strapped the knee pads in place, then Daddy secured my hands into locking fist mitts.  Before she got up, Daddy held me for about 15 minutes, letting me know how much she loves me.

When she got up, Daddy went upstairs and told me to stay in the basement.  She closed the door at the top of the stairs so that I couldn’t follow her.  (In case you’ve never worn them, fist mitts are not conducive to turning door knobs.)  I could hear Daddy rattling around in the kitchen.  After a few minutes, she came down with a cup of coffee and a straw.  Daddy put the cup on the floor and told me, “Since you’re a human mix I made you a cup of coffee.  I don’t want you to get a caffeine headache.”  (Daddy loves me!)  Before she left for work, Daddy brought down a bowl of yummy beans and rice, another bowl with a diced bagel and sliced bananas, and a third bowl with about a half gallon of water in it.  Daddy rubbed my back, stroked my head, kissed me on the forehead, turned off all but a couple dim lights (it was 4 in the morning and still dark outside), and left for work.

I knew that Daddy wouldn’t be back until 2 in the afternoon.  There I was, my hands in fist mitts, on my hands and knees in the dark, and nothing to do except to be Daddy’s puppy for 10 hours until Daddy got home from work.  I wandered around the basement for a while.  I crawled up on the bed and stared out of the small windows.  I figured I’d make the most of the day and just do my best to get into puppy-mode so that I would be pure dog by the time Daddy got home.  I spent the morning wandering from place to place in the basement, gazing out of various windows.  I let my mind go blank.  I let go of language.  There were no questions of what should I do next, because there was nothing I could do except crawl around the basement.  I ate.  I drank.  But mostly I dwelled on Daddy.  I wondered how long it had been, how much longer it would be.  It got light outside, but the sky was gray with rain clouds, so it was hard to gauge the passage of time by the position of the sun.  I ate more.  I drank more.  I napped a little.

After many hours had passed, I was pretty bored.  All I could think of was Daddy, how pretty she looked going up and down the stairs bringing me food and coffee, how sweet she was talking to me, stroking my head and my back before she left for work, how happy I would be when she got home.

I climbed up on the sofa in the spare room and stared out the window for a while, then I decided to burn off some energy and tire myself out.  I started walking (on all fours) from one end of our 1200 sq. foot basement to the other as fast as I could.  I paid attention to the positions of my knees and my hands to see how I could walk most efficiently.  I stopped and stretched my hips and my back and I started speed walking again, back and forth and back and forth.  I realized that my gait worked best if I put my right hand and my right knee forward at the same time, as if they were tethered together, then the left hand and left knee.  I stepped forward right hand/right knee then left hand/left knee then right hand/right knee, and so on.  I got faster and faster.  Then I realized that if I turned my hands inward so that the knuckles faced each other and my elbows were facing out that I had more power and stability.  I really started jamming from one end of the basement to the other.  I was getting into it!  I was dripping with sweat and feeling strong.  I was really feeling like my Daddy’s dog!

I found that if I dropped my belly towards the floor and arched my backward downward, almost like a crouch, it caused my bare butt to stick up and also allowed me to hold my head up so that I could look up and walk at the same time.  That felt like an accomplishment; it felt natural to walk at a quick pace with my head up so that I could look to the ceiling while I crawled.  I know that one day soon Daddy is going to take me to some public play parties and expect me to be her puppy girl (I know because Daddy told me so); I want to be able to walk proud and keep up, holding my head high like the self respecting puppy that I am.  I was feeling very proud of myself.

Every now and then as I quickly walked from one end of the basement to the other, I’d get a cramp in my calves.  I’d stop, stretch it out, and keep going.  And every now and then as I passed the water and food bowls, I’d stop, take a few bites and drink some water, then get right back to it.  I jammed from one end of the basement to the other for a couple hours.  I was dripping with sweat and getting pretty exhausted, but I felt damn strong and proud of myself.  At one point I heard the doorbell ring as I was hauling butt across the basement.  I stopped cold in my tracks.  “Should I bark?  Should I just stay quiet?”  I heard someone pound on the door; I just stood frozen.  They pounded again.  I looked from window to window.  I stood there waiting to see what would come next for a little while, then I just got right back to running laps.  I did watch the windows more as I crawled back and forth for a while, but eventually I forgot all about the doorbell and got back to thinking of my Daddy coming home.

After a couple of hours of crawling, I was completely drenched in sweat and exhausted.  I collapsed at the foot of the stairs and just lay there panting.

I’m not sure how long I lay there at the bottom of the stairs, but I do know that when I heard the garage door opening I was on my (four) feet in a millisecond.  I stood there at the bottom of the stairs barking my head off up the stairwell.  I was so excited as Daddy came down the stairs that I was a squirming, wiggling mess of kisses and nibbles.  Daddy sat on the bottom step and patted and rubbed me; she was happy to see me too.

Words completely escape me to explain how unutterably exciting it was to have Daddy home.  I followed her everywhere and just sniffed her all over, taking in all the smells of her work day.  Daddy pulled off her sweaty socks that she’d been standing on her feet in all day long, and I took them up in my mouth and tossed them around and played tug-of-war with them with Daddy.  Daddy lay down on the bed and invited me up.  We were both so overwhelmed with the excitement.  Daddy kissed me, caressed me, let me lick her until she exploded in orgasm after orgasm.

After a short nap together, Daddy removed the fist mitts and knee pads.  When I was ready to use my words, I excitedly told Daddy all about my morning and how I’d learned to walk on all fours at an incredible speed.  She said that she’d noticed, and that she couldn’t believe how fast I was moving as I followed her around after she got home.  I felt so proud of myself; Daddy was proud of me too.

We spent the rest of the day and evening cuddled up on the sofa watching bad movies and basking in the glow of our amazing bonding experience.  A girl and her dog.

I’m very soar today, but I’m so ready to do it all again.  Daddy has to work the day after Thanksgiving, but I get to stay home.  She says I should be ready to spend the day in fist mitts again.  But I hope she’ll let me exercise my four legged gait before then.

I love my Daddy!


One Response to “Puppy Training”

  1. Princess,

    You are the best little puppy ever. You can practice your gait whenever you have the inclination. I love you!


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