Puppy Love

My Daddy has never owned a human pet before.  She’s never engaged in a D/s relationship before.  This is all strange and new territory for her.  In fact, she’s always believed herself to be more submissive by temperament.  That’s actually a self esteem thing.  My Daddy, before taking me under her wing, has tended towards relationships in which she found herself non-consensually dominated by angry partners who used anger and domestic disturbance as a tool to get their own way.  Being with me is a new and exciting experience for my Daddy; at last she’s learning who she was really meant to be.  She’s discovered an ease of spirit and wild erotic pleasure in the simple act of exerting her power over me.  I love being the counterpart to my Daddy’s spiritual/erotic awakening.

Sometimes I see Daddy struggling.  I see her dominant nature in direct conflict with her submissive training.  When Daddy relaxes and lets herself go with the flow, I see her light up and come to life!  Daddy will grab my nipples and squeeze until I scream out loud.  In those moments I see God in Daddy’s eyes.  She lights up, bubbles over with glee and bliss.  When Daddy grabs my hair, pulls back my head and spits in my mouth, I feel her power pulse through my heart.  It’s as if she becomes so closely aligned with the core of who she was born to be that the energy generated within her creates an electric field in the room the surges through me.  I’ve seen Daddy so proud and powerful, walking through a crowded room with me following close behind at the end of her leash.  I’ve seen Daddy nearly orgasm from the simple act of swatting my ass until I scream and jump with ever blow.

I feel proud and loved when my Daddy is so in her groove.  I feel the power of my submission when I feel my Daddy’s power over me.  I feel spirit.  I feel God.

Knowing that the emotions I feel inside are there to let me know whether I’m on my ideal growth path or not, whether I’m on my highest spiritual path or whether I’m wondering lost through the wilderness, it feels right and natural to speak of the purity of our explorations into Domme/submissive dynamics.  I know that when I feel good and at peace, I’m on my highest path.  And I feel most at peace when I feel the gift of my Daddy’s dominance perfectly enmeshed with my gift of submission.

I see how it must be awkward for my Daddy though.  Even though she seems to reach heights of ecstasy and bliss when she feels empowered to reach out and take what she wants from me at will, she was raised and trained through years of angry relationships to be saccharine sweet and to not appear too strong for fear of negative consequences.  Daddy has days when she feels uncomfortable with the impulses inside of her.  I can’t imagine what the experience must be like for her.  I mean, if she gets a huge rush of joy and pleasure from squeezing my nipple or paddling my ass and making me scream, what does that say about her?  She must wonder if something is wrong with her.  She must fear that she’s defective.  Where she came from, the life she’s been trained into does not allow for pleasure in hurting the one person you love the most.  I don’t know that there’s anything I can do to help Daddy work through this, except to love her unconditionally and to continue to put my own gift of submission on the table for her to accept or refuse as she sees fit from day to day.

For the record, I love it when my Daddy is rough with me.  I’m not a masochist, not by a long shot.  But I do love it when my Daddy hurts me.  I see the joy and pleasure it brings in her eyes.  I see how it lowers her blood pressure.  I love that she takes my gift of submission and runs with it.  When my Daddy allows me to more fully align with my submissive karma by accepting the gift of my submission and giving me the opportunity to feel that submission deeply, I feel the power of the Universe surge through my being.  I feel at home.

I love my Daddy.  I appreciate her hesitation.  I love that she wants to be careful, doesn’t want to harm or damage me.  And I honor that there may be some fear in her own heart about unleashing the full impact of how cruel she could potentially be.  I mean, it could very well be that she’s afraid that if she were to let go and give the erotic experience of hurting me free reign that she might accidently hurt me much more than she meant to.  And in those moments after she’s paddled me until I’m bruised, She must look at those bruises and wonder how she could be such an awful person to do that to the woman she loves.  Again, I don’t know how to help my Daddy to resolve the inner conflict.

I love you Daddy.  I’ll always love you.  I love you when you’re hurting me.  I love you when you’re gentle and cuddly.  I love you even if we decide that we want to go back to living the vanilla life and only do it missionary style forever more.  I’m yours 100%, no hesitation, unconditionally.  Trust your inner being; follow your bliss.  I’m following your lead, Daddy.  I’ll follow you anywhere.

XOXO,
Puppy

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